Marriage+in+Pride+and+Prejudice

Marriage in Pride and Prejudice Throughout //Pride and Prejudice//, Jane Austen portrays marriage and love in several ways. She uses many characters and their relationships to show sarcasm within love and also to show, in her opinion, what true love should really be like. One of the main ideas about marriage in the book, and in the nineteenth century in general, was that marriage created love and happiness, not that love and happiness were a result of getting married. Through Austen's characters, it is easy to see which characters follow each definition of marriage.

Mr. and Mrs. Bennet Mr. and Mrs. Bennet have a classic nineteenth century relationship. When they first met, Mr. Bennet thought he had found his true love and that they would be happily married forever. Their marriage is described by saying, "[Elizabeth's] father captivated by youth and beauty, and that appearance of good humour, which youth and beauty generally give, had married a woman whose weak understanding and iliberal mind, had very early in their marriage put an end to all real affection for her" (Austen 228). This quote shows how when Mr. Bennet met Mrs. Bennet, he was blinded by her beauty but didn't pay attention to her personality. A consequence of this was having to deal with a simple-minded, conforming wife who he didn't really love for the rest of his life. Austen used this relationship to show how silly their "love" was and to set an example of what love shouldn't be based on.

Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy's relationship is what one could consider the opposite of Mr. and Mrs. Bennet's. They seem to truly love each other and are in love before they are engaged; much like what is typical in our society today. Elizabeth does not conform to the general views of her society or what her mother and sisters consider right. She makes decisions based on her heart and what she believes is right. This is supported when Mr. Collins proposes to Elizabeth and Elizabeth turns him down because it is not what she wants. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy's relationship is not based on money or for status and the name, but is based upon their true feelings. Elizabeth describes Mr. Darcy's feelings for Elizabeth when she says, "'...you were sick of civility, of deference, of officious attention. You were disgusted with the #|women who were always speaking and looking, and thinking for your approbation alone. I roused, and interested you, because I was so unlike them'" (Austen 359). This quote shows the personality of Mr. Darcy and why he began to fall in love with Elizabeth and didn't just "chose" a wife. Their relationship is more closely related to a successful marriage in our society today, because as many couples have found, if you marry #|for money and status rather than love, typically that marriage won't last.

Jane and Mr. Bingley Jane and Mr. Bingley's relationship is also one of true love rather than money or status. After Mr. Bingley goes to London and leaves Jane, she is clearly unhappy and worried. This shows the reader that she really does love and care for Mr. Bingley and isn't just using him for his money. Likewise, Mr. Bingley also misses Jane but doesn't come back because Mr. Darcy believes that Jane really is not in love with Mr. Bingley. This shows that Mr. Bingley didn't just want a wife just to have one and that he also believes that love makes a marriage, not that marriage creates love. After Elizabeth comes home from Mr. and Mrs. Collins’ house, the narrator describes Jane's feeling for Bingley by saying, "Jane was not happy. She still cherished a very tender affection for Bingley" (Austen 219). Although Mr. Bingley and Jane's relationship may not be as deep as Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy's, their reason for getting engaged is because they are also in love, not for money or status.

Lydia and Mr. Wickham Lydia and Mr. Wickham's relationship is one of lies and was based on status and money; a typical marriage of the nineteenth century. Mr. Wickham's character is revealed to Elizabeth after a letter she receives from Mr. Darcy. She learns that Mr. Wickham is in debt to many people, is a liar, and doesn't care about anybody but himself. Mr. Wickham then runs away with Elizabeth's little sister, Lydia. After many days of not being seen, he is finally heard from and says he is intending to marry Lydia. We later find out that the only reason Mr. Wickham agreed to marry her was because Mr. Darcy paid off Mr. Wickham so he would no longer be in debt and have money for the rest of his life. This shows how shallow Mr. Wickham is and that he does not love Lydia and only cares about money and his status. Lydia is blind to this because, like her mother, she only cares about the title of being married because she thinks that is what makes one successful. Ironically, Lydia wishes her sisters good luck by saying, "'I am sure my sisters must all envy me. I only hope they may have half my good luck. They must all go to Brighton. That is the place to get husbands'" (Austen 300). Lydia is simple-minded and wants her sisters to be happy like her because she is married, even though her marriage is based on lies and she does not love Mr. Wickham and he does not love her. Once again, their relationship is based on the idea that marriage is what creates happiness and love.

Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner's marriage is another strong relationship based on love and not status. They are both intelligent people and Mrs. Gardiner often tells Elizabeth to be careful with who she falls in love with and not to get married for the wrong reasons. Possibly one of the reasons Elizabeth has the beliefs she does is because of the good example that Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner set for her. Mr. Gardiner is described as being, "...a sensible, gentlemanlike man, greatly superior to his sister as well by nature as education" (Austen 137). This quote suggests that Mr. Gardiner has a good head on his shoulders and knowing Mrs. Bennet, Mr. Gardiner's sister, it is easy to see that he values different aspects of a relationship than she does. Mrs. Gardiner is similar to Mr. Gardiner and is said to be an, "...amiable, intelligent, elegant woman, and a great favourite with all her Longbourn nieces. Between the two eldest and herself especially, there subsisted a very particular regard" (Austen 137). This suggests that Mrs. Gardiner gets along very well with Elizabeth and Jane because they all believe that true love creates a happy marriage and not that a happy marriage creates true love.

Mr. Collins and Mrs. Collins (Miss Lucas) Mr. and Mrs. Collins’ relationship is one based on status, image and the title of being "married." They are not in love with each other and are both simply looking for a significant other and happen to find each other. Before proposing to Miss Lucas, Mr. Collins proposes to Elizabeth by saying, "My reasons for marrying are, first that I think it a right thing for every clergyman in easy circumstances (like myself) to set the example of matrimony in his parish. Secondly, that I am convinced it will add very greatly to my happiness; and thirdly--which perhaps I ought to have mentioned earlier, that it is the particular advice and recommendation of the very noble lady whom I have the honour of calling patroness" (Austen 103). This quote shows how shallow and simple-minded Mr. Collins is. None of these reasons for getting married include being in love. One of them does talk about bringing him happiness, but this goes with the theme that marriage will bring him happiness and not that love and happiness are reasons for getting married. Also, this proposal to Elizabeth comes only days before his proposal to Miss Lucas, suggesting that his feelings for Miss Lucas are limited.

Present-Day Connections After reading //Pride and Prejudice// it is easy to see connections between marriage and love back then with marriage and love today. Examples can be found in reality TV shows, such as //The Bachelor// and //Joe Millionaire//. In //The Bachelor//, a single male has a pool of around 25 women whom he goes on dates with in order to find his "true love". Many of the women claim they are madly in love with the Bachelor after only knowing him for a few weeks. The Bachelor's charming good looks and appealing fortune possibly add to the women's "love" for him. However, many of the women are models or actresses looking to get ahead in their careers, and their fake actions and comments to one another are as evident as their fake love for the Bachelor. Often at the end of the season, the Bachelor will propose to the final woman he picks, although just days before that he was going on dates with and kissing other women. media type="youtube" key="WG4dsbZ-n-c" height="390" width="480"

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This video relates to Pride and Prejudice because many of the “love” interests in the novel are not true and often laughable. For example, Mr. Collins proposes to Miss Lucas just days after he claimed he was in love with Elizabeth. Also, most of the women of the nineteenth century, like the women in The Bachelor, are attracted by status, money and good looks and that is what they base their love on. In this thirty-second commercial of The Bachelor, his good looks are mentioned twice, his sexy British accent once and his personality doesn’t come up at all. One woman even says she is willing to do anything to make it on to the next round of the show, even though she has no idea who this man is, what he is really like or if she is truly compatible with him.

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In the next video clip, we learn of where previous bachelors and bachelorettes have ended up, and like many of us would guess, most of them are not married to anybody they met on the show. <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhKjgX_4ncs&NR=1&feature=fvwp

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">As seen with this video clip, our doubts about the feelings of "true love" on the show are confirmed. At the end of the video clip, the narrator even quotes one of the bachelors by saying, "when the fantasy wore off and the reality set in, they realized they weren't ready to get married" (YouTube - 'The Bachelor' : Where Are They Now?). We know how pathetic reality TV shows like The Bachelor are. They may be good entertainment, but on the other hand, they are outright ridiculous! In "Reality Check," an article by Eric Jaffe, Craig A. Anderson, Association for Psychological Science of Iowa Sate University, says that, "In general, one of the negative things about television is that is gives a distorted image of what the rest of the world is like." This applies to The Bachelor because in society today, we know that if we marry solely because of good-looks and money, marriage probably would not last long. Even though we can see that the motives in shows like The Bachelor are shallow, many are addicted to the show anyway. So why do we watch it? Why is America obsessed with The Bachelor and reality shows like it? Steven Reiss lists possible motives for watching reality TV and the satisfaction we get from watching shows like The Bachelor (Jaffe). The table below lists these motives and explains what they may provide for us...

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(Jaffe)
 * **Motive** || **Joy** ||
 * **Acceptance:** Desire for approval || **Self-confidence** ||
 * **Curiosity:** Desire for knowledge || **Wonderment** ||
 * **Eating:** Desire for food || **Satiation** ||
 * **Family:** Desire to raise own children || **Love** ||
 * **Honor:** Desire to obey a traditional moral code. || **Loyalty** ||
 * **Idealism:** Desire to improve society (including altruism, justice) || **Compassion** ||
 * **Independence:** Desire for autonomy || **Freedom** ||
 * **Order:** Desire to organize (including desire for ritual) || **Stability** ||
 * **Physical Exercise:** Desire to exercise muscles || **Vitality** ||
 * **Romance:** Desire for sex (including courting) || **Lust** ||
 * **Power:** Desire to influence (including leadership) || **Efficacy** ||
 * **Saving:** Desire to collect || **Ownership** ||
 * **Social Contact:** Desire for peer companionship (and desire to play) || **Fun** ||
 * **Status:** Desire for prestige (including desire for attention) || **Self-importance** ||
 * **Tranquility:** Desire for inner peace (prudence, safety) || **Safe, relaxed** ||
 * **Vengeance:** Desire to get even (including desire to win) || **Vindication** ||

<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">In general, we watch reality TV shows like The Bachelor because we want to be able to feel what the characters are going through. Even though the ideas of these shows are sometimes ridiculous, we want to be able to experience being in "love" with a hot, wealthy bachelor. We want to feel the status that these "celebrities" have so we feel important and powerful. Many of the women in Pride and Prejudice marry wealthy, attractive men so they feel self-confident and "true love", which are similar motives to why we watch reality TV shows like The Bachelor today.